中级英语写作1
国家级
价格 免费
2024.08.26 ~ 2024.12.22
  • 广东外语外贸大学
  • 建议每周学习2-3小时
  • 262人已参与
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第11次开课

开始:2024-08-26

截止:2024-12-22

课程已进行至

17/17周

成绩预发布时间 2024-12-21

期末考试截止时间 2024-12-19 23:55

教学团队

广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
教授
广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
讲师
广东外语外贸大学
讲师

课程特色

视频(40)
图文(32)
文档(49)
下载资料(36)
讨论(12)
考试(13)

优秀样例赏析-An unexpected ending

By 梁静璧 老师 6天前 5次浏览

喜欢阅读有反转结局的小小说吗?以下是一些优秀片段,来自大一新生的笔下:

 

Suspense

Titles:

Doctor.A-Murderer or Rescuer (叶恺琳)

Opening paragraphs

“Someone helps me,” I thought helplessly.

Trapped in the closet, I didn’t know what to do with the situation. (白崇文)

(fear paralyzed my thoughts)

Setting

 A foreboding sense of unease washes over him as he suspects that something may have gone awry. Call the police, open the gate and stand in front of the door of the basement—following a stink of blood which congests his nasal cavity—he begins to feel a sense of terror after doing all the things.(李曼祺)

 

Foreshadowing details

Lamia was pregnant.

“Hey honey,” said Suez, gently shutting the door behind him.

“You're home,” focusing on her crochet, she slightly turned her head, just to acknowledge her husband’s existence. “How's work?” asked Lamia, throwing a glimpse towards Suez.

“It was Okay,” responded Suez, tone flat as if rehearsed.

...

“Yes, it’s a good sign hon, everything will be Okay.” He nestled his head on her shoulder.

In the mirror, Lamia placed his husband’s hand on her flat belly.

Lamia was pregnant.(高熠卓)

 

After walking through each room and evaluating all of the drawers, she was not in a hurry. Instead, she took out a pan, cracked an egg, and fried it into a fragrant meal. She carefully put it between the bread to make an easy sandwich. Then humming a relaxing tune, she danced toward the sofa and sank into a soft seat. “Let’s watch a movie.” The woman thought and took off her headphones. But the remote control seemed to be a little difficult to find out. She looked in several drawers with only files inside. Finally, the remote control was found in the box next to the dining table.

...

Putting on the headphones again, her lips curled with an exquisite smile. Gorgeously she took a spin and shook her head leisurely. She slowly and carefully put necklaces and bracelets in her handbag, also all the cash in the wallets. Minutes later, a brown cap was taken out of the bag. She put on a mask, enjoyed her charming appearance in front of the mirror, and stepped out of the villa from the main entrance.

“What a sweet home. See you.” She thought in silent.(林莹涵)

 

 Adorned in the humble school uniform, I found myself an alien amid my peers who were bedecked in designer apparel that are resplendent yet beyond my recognition. Hearing their conversations revolved around enigmatic novelties and sumptuous delicacies hitherto unknown to my ears and palate, I felt myself mired in a quagmire of diffidence. Their quizzical glances and mocking laughter haunted me like specters, petrifying my soul and trapping me in the solitary confines of my own being.

...

Perhaps Dylan was a person who dislikes rainy days, for I'd never seen him on such days. Only when the sun shined brightly or under the street lamps on clear nights could I meet him.

Interestingly, Dylan bore a bit of resemblance to me. Whenever I smiled at him, he would smile back at me with the most sincere and beautiful grin.From the look in his eyes, I felt as if he understood me completely.(陈靖松)

 

 ...causing me to lose my hair and diminishing my speed.

 I bought a cap to hide my baldness, but angrily, my teammates even asked me where I bought the cap, seemingly to hurt my self-esteem. 

 “Knowing that how much you care about your baldness, we decided to cut our hair to match your unique look.” Tears streamed down my cheeks.(杨祖彦)

 

“Well, Mr. Lawrence, you will view this topic with brand new glasses,” he said playfully, a sly light glittering in his eyes.

I smiled: young students always act like that, don’t they? They are quick-minded, but over-confident. Anyway, it is youth exactly. Everyone will go through it.

 

“But professor, may I ask you a question?” the elder gentleman said.

I’m seeing visions! How could it be possible? I was stepping out for the truth when I realized that they were discussing about the paper. I stopped, and waited for sunlight coming up.

(陈思齐)

 

Her alluring beauty, sharp intellect, and every aspect of her being captivated me deeply...Although she had changed, I loved her ever and ever. Therefore, I did what I could to maintain this relationship. Due to my endeavor and love, she didn’t do any housework but just slept on the bed all day. 

...

He was like a deranged lunatic. He quarreled with me because I prevented him from seeking other women outside. But when he knew I fell in love with others, he killed me! (吉倩仪)

 

 At the same time, to his despair, his flashlight seems to be dying. The light is fading, so does the one in his heart.

He couldn’t reach it. And the last ray of light started vanishing, getting darker, covered by the bloody scarlet. (崔筱川)

 

Vivid expressions

Heaving a sigh of relief, when I was ready to tap my room number, a message from Lucy struck me pink. (罗艺)

A sense of overwhelm suddenly seized her, which made her feel like she were enveloped by something invisible. (谢文茜)

 Ashley first flushed bright scarlet, then she squealed in delight and flung her arms around him.(卢佑)

Suddenly, a confident yet somewhat overbearing voice cut in (任致远)

Panicking, she guessed that she had traveled through time. (陈虹君)

Suddenly, just as Tom had read the last line, all the lights in the basement went out, and a shadow came closer to him, followed by a kind of hoarse laugh. In the dim moonlight, the face of the figure looked terrible and fiendish.Fear overwhelmed Tom, he ran and ran, dragging his heavy legs, like a headless chicken bumping everywhere, but the bookshelves seemed to move on their own, forming a great labyrinth and trapping him in it.(王概禛)

反思:

但是要用到铺垫、悬念和反转的手法表达出讽刺或幽默的主题,篇幅要求较为紧凑,所以想到了之前玩过的一个密室——《传销里的呐喊》的剧情。这个故事的剧情十分简单但也有反转,并且可以让人毛骨悚然,也具有一定的现实意义,警戒人们——幻想里的一切都是金色的。本文主题由此展开:1.对于物质的过度追求导致一些人陷入幻想,被诱骗进传销组织。2.故事的主人公本身已经死亡,他一直在自己的幻想当中,一直被自己的幻想困住而循环。告诉我们要打破幻想,认清现实!(白崇文)

 

如何选材、构思:其实是*近看完的一本小说叫做《完美嫌疑人》,实在是太精彩了,反转反转又反转,刚好碰上这次写作任务,就提供了这个创作灵感(叶恺琳)

 

我从自己曾经看过的一个故事获得了些许灵感,但是我并不记得是哪一个了。

我曾经非常喜欢阅读世界三大短篇小说之王:欧亨利,莫泊桑和契诃夫的短篇小说,我初中购买了他们三人的选集并且曾一度非常痴迷于他们笔下的故事,而其中欧亨利和莫泊桑就非常善于制造反转,让读者在故事的末尾大受震惊,而这样的结尾也沿用了欧亨利的名字。所以我对这一次的写作怀有高涨的热情。(崔筱川)

 

*近比较迷恋福尔摩斯类的侦探影视,因此也想写一个关于杀人犯的剧情。对于Foreshadowing, 我本想通过对Lucy的描写,即为什么她会知道有杀人犯闯进酒店行凶来引起读者的思考,以及后续剧情中Lucy向我询问房间号这一细节暗示读者此人并不是Lucy,我在前文中有铺垫Lucy是我*好的朋友,我应当已经在白天的时候告诉她房间号了,那为什么她会来询问我呢?(罗艺)

 

这个不太好。想写这个ai对话其实也有一点铺垫,就是一个5岁左右的小孩怎么通过电子设备流畅的打字和妈妈交谈,这个点我自己觉得还挺巧妙的。还有Mrs. Smith的疲态,也算是对孩子离去的一种铺垫,但是不太明显。妈妈看到电视中自己的倒影,想到别人说女儿和自己长得像,进而开始思念女儿,开启后文的ai对话。Ai对话的内容其实我真的问了ai,然后再修改ai的答案写到文章里。(谢文茜)

 

选材想了很久,在电脑前坐了四五十分钟之后想到一句 “... was pregnant” 然后后面的故事就自然而然地出来了,构思和写的时候完全没想起课上放的视频,但写完之后感觉内容有点相似。主角的名字还有小巧思,Lamia在希腊神话中是一位失去了自己和宙斯的孩子的神,而Suez则是宙斯Zeus倒拼。

这个故事讲述的就是Lamia has lost her baby but is in denial about it,悲伤的五个阶段是否定、愤怒、协商、绝望、接受,而对于Lamia,在文字未展现的一面,她早已经过了前四个阶段,但*后她的防御机制促使她产生幻想达到*后一个阶段,这和刚开始的否定是不一样的,她已经完全相信她并没有失去孩子,仿佛一切都没有发生;而Suez深爱着妻子也爱着孩子,他不忍心看妻子沉溺于幻想但更不忍让她面对事实,所以无能为力,在家中他只能陪妻子演戏。从这两个角度考虑,我认为在这个家中、这个故事中,氛围应该是压抑的,而在这看似平静的水面下,情绪实则波涛汹涌,所以我的语言风格不是强烈而是隐忍的。同时也像海明威追求的“冰山”理论一样,我也没有过多交代背景。(高熠卓)

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