中级英语写作1
国家级
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2024.08.26 ~ 2024.12.22
  • 广东外语外贸大学
  • 建议每周学习2-3小时
  • 262人已参与
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第11次开课

开始:2024-08-26

截止:2024-12-22

课程已进行至

17/17周

成绩预发布时间 2024-12-21

期末考试截止时间 2024-12-19 23:55

教学团队

广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
教授
广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
副教授
广东外语外贸大学
讲师
广东外语外贸大学
讲师

课程特色

视频(40)
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文档(49)
下载资料(36)
讨论(12)
考试(13)

U3 Discussion: Describing people 优秀样例

By 梁晓彤助教 老师 11-16 15次浏览

The following responses are outstanding examples for this topic:

  • For question 1, these students show their distinct perspectives, ranging from essence, emotion, character and appearance.

①Essence:

These responses following a clear logic of “what is the most difficult part”—“why does it difficult”—“how to figure out the essence of a person”.

(1)杨嘻嘻:Capturing the essence of a person is challenging because it involves conveying their unique personality, experiences, and emotions. The most difficult part is often striking a balance between physical description and the portrayal of their character, ensuring that the description is both accurate and respectful. It's also tricky to avoid stereotypes and to capture the complexity of an individual's identity without oversimplifying.

(2)ftrftdHx:The most challenging aspect in describing a person lies in capturing their unique essence authentically. People are multifaceted, with intricate personalities, emotions, and histories that intertwine to form their identity. Conveying this depth while avoiding stereotypes and generalizations requires nuanced language and a careful balance between physical attributes, behavioral traits, and emotional depth. It's a task that demands empathy, perception, and the art of subtlety to portray someone in a way that feels both real and respectful. Crafting a description that resonates truthfully with the reader, while respecting the subject's complexity, is undoubtedly the pinnacle of difficulty in such an endeavor.

(3)陈思齐:I think describing a person can be challenging because it involves capturing their essence, which goes beyond physical appearance. The most difficult part is often conveying their personality, emotions, and the subtle nuances that define who they are. This requires a deep understanding and the ability to choose words that resonate with the individual's unique traits and experiences.

(4)孙祺开:The most difficult part is often striking a balance between accuracy and brevity. It's tough to convey someone's unique traits, emotions, and complexities without oversimplifying or misrepresenting them. Additionally, ensuring the description resonates with the reader while being respectful and fair to the individual being described adds to the challenge.

②Emotion:

The language is precise and convincing, which show her deep understanding of this topic.

(1)李梓溪:Describing a person's innermost thoughts and complex emotions is the hardest, as it requires capturing their unique essence, subtle behaviors, and unspoken feelings within limited words.

③Character:

Using transitional words in the response is really striking, which makes people easy to follow.

(1)赵倩:Describing a person's personality can be the most difficult. It's hard to find the right words to accurately capture their complex traits. Also, depicting their emotions in a vivid way without being clichéd is a challenge. Moreover, making the description engaging and unique is not easy.

(2)迟佳奕:The most challenging aspect of describing a person in writing is capturing their unique personality and essence. It's not just about listing physical features or actions, but rather delving deep into their thoughts, emotions, and inner world.

④Appearance:

These responses are excellent by adopting specific description to support their opinions.

(1)孙明阳:The difficulty in describing a person's appearance lies in the fact that it is hard to fully display their unique features with precise words. There may be deviations due to different subjective perceptions. Moreover, it is easy to fall into a lack of vocabulary and have difficulty in capturing the subtle feature differences.

(2)4OaF1HPe:In my opinion,the most difficult part to describe a person is their gaze,because the changes in a person's gaze are rich and delicate,and can contain multiple meanings in a moment,and these subtle changes are difficult to fully describe.

 

  • For question 2, these responses paraphrase the original sentences in an effective way, which makes the image of the boy more vivid and specific.

(1)zusjdu:He was a rather small boy with a finely-made physique.His hair was a deep shade of dark brown and his eyes a light blue.In his youth,his face was chubby,but now it has transformed with rough features and become rugged.

(2)柳雯晞:When the boy was young, he was very delicate, he had dark brown hair and light blue eyes, and his round face was chubby and very cute, and as time went by, he also grew up, and his facial features became rough and rough

 

  • For question 3, these students successfully display different feelings by using attractive verbs, adjectives, adverbs, metaphors and environmental description.

(1)陈璐:They sit alone in a corner, head bowed. Tears well up in their eyes and slowly trickle down their cheeks. Their shoulders slump, and they hug themselves tightly. Thoughts race through their mind, filled with memories that bring a heaviness to their heart. They let out a long sigh, as if the weight of the world is upon them.

(2)罗鑫淼:A brilliant smile blossomed on her face, her eyebrows curved like crescent moons. Her hands unconsciously danced gently, and her heart cheered excitedly: It's really wonderful! Happiness overflowed.

(3)anfjYyBy:A wide grin stretches across the face, crinkling the eyes with warmth. Laughter escapes, light and carefree, as arms open wide for an embrace. Energized footsteps dance to a rhythm only felt within. Heart races gently, flooding the mind with vivid memories, each bright and sparkling like sunlight on water.

(4)王概禛:He stood at the train station, his luggage at his feet, a symbol of the journey ahead. His eyes scanned the familiar landscape one last time, a silent goodbye to the place that had been his home. The corners of his mouth turned down, a frown etched with the weight of the unknown. His hands clenched the ticket, the crinkled paper a tangible reminder of the distance growing between him and his past.His heart pounded in his chest, a rhythm of anticipation and fear. He could feel the cold wind on his face, a physical chill that mirrored the emotional one within. His thoughts were a whirlwind of memories, each one a fragment of the life he was leaving behind. As the train pulled away, a single tear traced its way down his cheek.

(5)李曼祺:Having gotten lost in the desert for half a day,his lips turned pale and wrinkled.The dry throat was burned-like painful,preventing him to breathe hard or say a word.Actually,it was useless to asking for help in such a deserted desert.All he could do was searching for water by himself and blessing.The scorching sunshine and a flow of sweat blurred his vision.He dragged his lead-filled legs forward,aimlessly and hopelessly.All of a sudden,his eyes were lit up with a flash of green.There was a tree!The fire of hope rekindled,pushing him to proceed towards the water,which meant the hope to live.As the destination getting closer and closer,his heart beat rapider and rapider.Fifty meters,forty ,thirty……he counted silently. As soon as he saw the oasis,he staggeredly but determinedly skided towards it.His weathered face unfolded and his mouth widened,as if irrigated by the water.

(6)高熠卓:

Task 3:

Waking up from the nap at 6pm, he feels dizzy and ears buzzing as if the world is spinning. It takes him around a minute to adjust to this reviving feeling and start to reattain his sensations to his surrounding. He doesn’t realize how late it is until he draws the curtain open and a pitch black presses his eyes like a weightless veil. Moonlight pours in like water, but the room doesn’t seem to get any brighter but even darker. Since he can’t make out anything with his eyes, he pats the bed sheet for several times and finally find his phone. The phone screen lights up in his hand, also the hope that there will be messages eagerly waiting for him...Nothing. This sight of zero notification makes him realize again that, nobody is going to search for him except this bone-deep emptiness and loneliness that has been devouring his connection with the world.

(7)陈虹君:Although there are only a few interviewers, I still stuttered while introducing myself. It seems like the self introduction prepared before the interview has drifted out of my mind like smoke, my hands unconsciously crossed and turned in circles.My face is also getting redder and redder, I sincerely hope that this part will end soon. One minute later, I finally completed my self introduction, what I didn't expect was that even more pain was yet to come. Next, the interviewer began a series of sharp questions. I actually started sweating and often stuck out my tongue to lick my lips. In addition,I would roll my eyes and pretend to be thinking hard after the interviewer asks a question, but in fact, my brain is blank at this moment. Imperceptibly, I answered all the questions asked by the interviewer in a daze. While my performance was not very good this time,I will learn from the experience,then go to the interview more confidently and calmly next time.

 

  • For question 4. these students present a wonderful picture of Chinese famous people in ancient or modern times, which includes the vivid description of their appearance from the whole to the details. Moreover, they show us a specific depiction of their life experience, such as the contribution of these figures in Chinese history and their inspiring effect on contemporary young people.

(1)谢文茜:The famous Chinese person that I want to introduce is Yang Jiang,a writer and a translator.She is an elegant but also lovely lady.With round face,small eyes,upward eyebrows and fair skin,she looks just like a typical Chinese doll.I once absorbed myself in reading her books.Through her words,I can feel that she is gentle and kind.Her words are a stream that can flow into your heart.One interesting thing I read about her is that when she was born,her crying was loud and high pitched.Because of that,her nurses gave her a nickname called"Ms.Singhigh".She is also a part of the widely known anecdote–---her love story with Qian Zhongshu.I strongly recommend her book''We Three'',which truly expressed the happiness of establishing a home and her deep rememberance for her daughter and husband.All in all,she is a well-read and cultured but also soft and warm woman.

(2)叶恺琳:When it comes to famous people in ancient or modern times,Dr.Yuan comes into my mind first.As the father of hybrid rice,Yuan devoted his whole life to the food security not only in China but also around the world.Due to having experiment outside the ground to observe and research,tanned and wrinkled face was like a badge to Dr.Yuan.In his late 70s,his dark hair was also caught our attention.Talking about his personalities,I think he was that kind of person who can face challenges perseveringly and also amiable and easy of approach.It was the reason why he can be successful after countless failure and always be positive to his life.

(3)罗艺:Sushi, who is one of the Eight Great Poets of the Tang and Song Dynasties, has left us numerous profound poems and his works was praised in generations and generations. Because of the different opinions between two parties ,sushi, who was advocated for the old laws, was falsely accused by the other party. What was subsequence by was that the emperor drove sushi to Huangzhou, a extremely rural area in ancient China. Model people called this event ”Wutai events”. Being in such poor circumstances, sushi still lived in positive attitude instead of drowning himself into sadness. To relieve depression, sushi devoted himself to nature landscapes. One day, when sushi and his friends appreciating the scenes, a heavy rain fell down. Everyone was hurried to seek the shelters, but sushi wandered in the rain, creating a famous poem《《定风波》》,which contained his strong disappointment to the emperor and his positive life style. Such great poem deserves everyone's respect.

(4)任致远:Today I want to share with you is a very famous historical figure, Su Shi. The life of this legendary figure can be said to be ups and downs. In the face of setbacks in life, his optimism gives him the will to serve the suffering. This time, we start with the appearance of the character. Su Shi is a scholar, his appearance is plain, there is no special place. But he was knowledgeable and as gentle as a gentleman when he talked. He has an unforgettable beard. Secondly, we talk about his character. People always regard Su Shi as a genius. In fact, Su Shi is still an enthusiastic person. He often reaches out to people. When he was in office, he could always rely on his love and dedication to govern a region in an orderly manner. It is such an optimistic and loving poet that we can always remember.

(5)林莹涵:Confucius,who is regarded as a key character in ancient China,played an irreplaceable part in the Chinese traditional theory system.According to the pictures and records about his appearance,we can infer that he has thick and long eyebrows,also a bushy beard,which makes him look benign and wise.With one hand holding the other in front of his chest,He always looks serenely ahead.It seems like the whole world is under his deep eyes.As the Founder of Confucianism and an outstanding educator ,Confucius’s life wasn’t going well actually.At the age of 3,he lost his father,and the family suddenly fell into an abyss.But Confucius didn’t be beaten by the straitened situation.Instead,he showed a fabulous passion on Chinese traditional ritual at the early age.It was not long before he was known for the extensive knowledge of rites and music in his youth.Then in the following decades,he dedicated himself to the career as a Confucian.On the tough way to spread his theory,there was always no monarch who preferred to support him.When he got older and older,the man still with a determined heart came back to the Kingdom of Lu,and started to sort out and revise Six Classics.As we all know,The Analects of Confucius is a treasure left by Confucius and his followers.From the great work,we can see the strong belief that Confucius always held and his mind of wisdom,also the sincere warm heart for everyone.

(6)陈靖松:Li Bai,honored as the “Immortal of Poetry”,is my favorite poet.The eyes are bright and piercing and wide open like those of a hungry tiger,which betrays a certain imposing air and lofty ambition.Moreover,he often wears a long white robe that makes him look elegant and extraordinary.What aspect i like Li Bai most nothing than his personality.As a romanticism poet,he often imagined himself flying in the sky,so he created a lot of fairy-like and fantastical artistic conception.He was uninhibited and unconventional,extremely confident,he always believed that he was the genius.Because of this,many people thought Li Bai arrogant and conceited,which led to his unsuccessful official career and an unsatisfactory life.Different from other officials,he was not enamored of wealth,in addition,out of his upright and honest personality,he had experienced a tortuous career road.Having experienced many demotions and feeling desperate,he finally gave up his official career and embarked on the path of pursing Taoism.In his life,there’ re too much people envy his talent,deliberately attacked him,he was always given the title of arrogant and conceited,but what i admired are his peerless talent as well as his confident and heroic posture.

(7)白崇文:Zhang Yixing,nicknamed Lay,was a member of a famous foreign pop band named EXO.With a obvious dimple on his face,he seems very gorgeous and easygoing,and thus the dimple gradually becomes one of his main characters.Many girl fans love him due to this sweet dimple and his good look.Also of primary note is his outgoing perasonality,which reveals that he is a very hard-working boy willing to try his best to do everything.Naming himself as"WORK HARD AND WORK HARDER" on Sina Weibo,he always shares his work moments and his occupied schedule with his fans.There was no scandal on him,and that's partly due to his pure inner self and his honest and hard-work personality.

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